Stand Strong

In my first group of peer reviews I was asked why I didn’t make this accommodating for everyone, why I made it Christian Faith Based. And the honest truth is that I do not know any other way to overcome lust/pornography addictions! any other way would not be true to my experience of deliverance. For context, I’d like to make this statement: "I believe we are spirit beings with a soul, housed in a body."" That belief will make sense closer to the end.

My story began when I was about seven years old, with a Sunday newspaper that had a weekly “Sunday babe.” Don’t laugh—the internet was foreign at the time. Little did I know I had opened a door that would be far too difficult to close. Later, websites like Waptrick came along, friends indoctrination, and the years went by until it became normal. I no longer even knew why I was doing it.

I remember thinking, “But this is my body! why can I not break free from this thing?” I felt deeply out of control, a lost sense of self. I was born and raised in the church, raised in a Christian home, yet this shadow lurked over me. A desire for intimacy, but with a false sense of what intimacy truly was.

My will, my spirit, was weak! And when you keep disappointing yourself, your confidence in yourself dwindles, because you and I both wouldn’t trust someone who says they will stop and then keeps doing it. That time Pornography is such an embarrassing struggle to admit to, or even to admit that you need help from. So you become isolated, beaten and tired believing - “This is the rock I will die on.”

Then you grow up and double down, believing that once someone is there — once the urge has a body to satisfy it - you will no longer need these things. You tell yourself you can overcome it as long as there is somebody. That was the biggest lie I ever told myself, living a life filled with the empty promises of sin. I just could not stop.

When Paul writes in Romans 7:15–20:

¹⁵I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

He was frustrated, feeling like he was not in control of himself. Then in verses 21–24 he says:

²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?

I relate to that deeply. I felt like a prisoner in my own body, wanting to be freed from this sin. Knowing the teachings of the Bible, I knew it was wrong, but I was trapped.

Then I got born again… again. Twice. And this time it was real. I prayed and read the Word because I wanted to, not because of my parents or because everyone was doing it. And one day I realised I no longer had the desire to give in to the desires of the flesh. I could ignore its screams for self-indulgence.

Even while building this tool, I noticed that when testing failed, I would get frustrated and angry, and I realised something: lust is simply a symptom of an unnurtured spirit and soul.

The word became alive to me, edifying and filling: so in vs 25 when Paul said:

²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

I completely understood.

So when it fell upon my spirit to build this tool, I did not argue or hesitate. please note that It is not some magic trick. It is not a pill that fixes overnight. But it is the beginning of a journey of deliverance. the decision to feed your spirit man, to feed you.

If it counts for anything, I see your struggle and i know it. I see you. And I pray this becomes the beginning of you regaining control over the flesh. because ...

This is your body, after all.